Thank you for joining us and welcome to Episode 87 of the Couples Expert Podcast!

In this week’s episode Stuart talks about having healthy relationships during Thanksgiving; How we can learn to be appreciative and thankful for those people that make our life richer and more full. Especially our life partners. These are the people that are always there for us in so many ways. We are very grateful for the love in our lives and we can make this Thanksgiving holiday the best we’ve ever had with our partners.

Stuart reminds us of the paradox of thankfulness; of how when you begin to appreciate the good things in your life, you are able to find more to be thankful for.  If we get into a habit of looking for those things to be grateful for, it really becomes an “attitude of gratitude” which makes life better.

Stuart discusses how the travel and obligations of the holidays can cause anxiety and stress but whether you’re cooking for a crowd, stuck at the airport or having a quiet intimate get together with immediate family, it all depends on how you see it. If you spend quality time focused on your relationship with your partner, you can have a great time connecting together. Make a commitment to each other and determine to make the holiday about connecting with each other and your children. Avoid letting the little things getting you down, make it special and meaningful and make some great memories.

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In Episode 86 of the Couples Expert Podcast Stuart is discussing how to help couples to take their relationship from “good” , to fun and exciting. There are ways to keep your relationship feeling brand new no matter how long you’ve been together as a couple.

Couples that have been together for a long time can get into predictable routines. While that’s not always a bad thing, (our routines keeps us comfortable and secure), when life becomes too predictable you can find yourselves in a rut. Stuart is going to give you some ideas for keeping your relationship new and fun and injecting some spontaneity into your life.

“Couples that laugh together , Last together” Dr. John Gottman

Laughter and Play

Stuart talks about how laughter and play can help to strengthen your relationship and finding our sense of humor helps us to get through even the toughest times. If you can learn to lighten up, you’ll have a more joyful outlook on everything in life. Stuart advises couples not to take themselves too seriously, to laugh and love together and have fun.

This week marks the 85th episode of The Couples Expert Podcast!

This week Stuart speaks with his guest Emily Bouchard, MSSW. Emily works with couples and families about money issues. She helps families understand where the triggers about money really stem from and teaches them how to have difficult conversations without money landmines blowing them up!

Stuart and Emily discuss why money issues can affect couples so dramatically and can leave them feeling disconnected. Many people are uneducated about how to talk about money and 70% of families fall apart when money gets transferred. It happens when people come into large sums, or when money is redistributed, a business is sold, or when a blended family is involved and there are issues about ownership of shared property. There can be anger and resentment about expectations from family members about what is fair and right. Things can get very complicated the more layers of family that are added. It’s a challenge to make it fair where there may not be equal distribution or equal ownership within the family members. The more money you have, the more complex the issues within the family can be.

These are a few of the emotional explosive landmines that catch you off guard. Emily likens these to an invisible electronic barrier fence. You don’t know it’s there until you run into it. In her work she teaches people how to turn the voltage down. It can still sting, but it won’t kill or blow you up.

Protections come up, then you think “don’t go there,” So you avoid the conversation altogether until BOOM - you found the landmine! Stuart explains how emotions under the surface can explode when they’ve been between you and keeping you from connecting with the people you love.

Stuart talks about the triggers that come up when money conflicts arise and how understanding what’s needed to have these conversations empowers couples to navigate these difficult issues. From his emotional attachment work, Stuart shares the underlying dynamics about trust and need and why money problems can tear you apart as a couple.

Click here to read the complete Show Notes

In the 84th episode of the Couples Expert Podcast Stuart speaks with his guest, Robert Cox, and they discuss substance abuse and alcoholism.

Substance abuse is extremely widespread and far-reaching problem and for those families who have an addict or alcoholic in their homes, it can be a devastating experience. Robert and Stuart discuss how this is a family problem and the importance of the entire family’s involvement in setting boundaries and sometimes giving tough love to the addict in order to preserve the relationships within the family.

Self- care and coping is not an option, it’s a “have to” - if you want to stay healthy in order to deal with the problem of substance abuse in a partner or family member.

Stuart does a lot of work with couples whose relationships are impacted by addiction. Not only drugs and alcohol but other addictions such as food, sex or gambling can also be addressed by seeing a couples counselor. You can learn more on The Couples Expert website http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com. Stuart and his staff offer a free 30 minutes consultation for new clients to learn about how therapy works for these types of issues.

Click Here to Read the Complete Show Notes