The Couples Expert

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast. Stuart is talking today about a subject you don’t hear much about. It’s an adult subject, so please use discretion when listening or use your headphones! This is episode 169 of our podcast. Listen as Stuart talks about using sex as a weapon or for leverage in the relationship. Have you ever done that? You’d be surprised how many couples do.

Summer is here and we’re all spending more time with our partners and families. Stuart recommends taking couples vacations to spend time and connect with your partner. Work on your relationships and get closer and more connected. Remember how important your intimate life is, and cultivate that.  

 

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

  • The impact on couples who can’t be in the same space together 3:44
  • You need to examine your commitment if you feel like leaving your shared space  8:03
  • Sex is an essential ingredient to a happy and satisfying relationship 9:20
  • If you can be satisfied with having an unhappy partner that’s the beginning of a problem 10:54
  • Helping you feel loved should be your partner’s passion 13:15
  • We all need to be touched and loved; it’s a part of our emotional connection 15:55
  • When you’re taking away your partner’s access to you, your relationship is in trouble 17:27

 

If you are using sex as a weapon it’s a symptom of a far greater problem. The commitment you make in your relationship is to stay together, stay exclusively sexual with your partner and to keep yourself for them only. If you begin to use that aspect of your relationship as leverage to manipulate the relationship, you’re taking something far more important than sex away from your partner.

The feeling that your partner can’t be trusted or you don’t have them to rely on is one of the most painful and lonely places to be in a relationship. Both of you need to be fully committed to working through your struggles and challenges together- Tough it out. Stay in the same room, keep your physical connection and continue to touch and be intimate with each other so you don’t lose that feeling of emotional security and connection to one another.

 

This podcast is sponsored by: The annual relationship check up! Learn more here about how to evaluate where you and your partner are in terms of satisfaction with your partnership.  https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/annual-relationship-check-up/

 

Next Week: Please listen next week as Stuart is joined by Mickie Zada from Surviving Abuse Network. They will be discussing the warning signs of abuse in a relationship. Please listen in to this important topic.

 

Email Stuart at: podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

 

Thank you for spending part of your day with Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. We hope that you stay close and stay connected.

Direct download: 169-USING_SEX_AS_A_WEAPON.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 12:27pm PDT
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Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 168 of our show. Today Stuart talks about the concept of being in a relationship with your soulmate. Do you need to be with a person you consider to be your soulmate in order to have a close and connected relationship?

Is having a soulmate always a positive thing?  Listen as Stuart explains what it means to have a soulmate.

 

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

  • Definition of a soulmate vs. a life partner  1:12
  • Life partners come after we’ve had a few soulmates to grow from 7:37
  • Communicating what you need to your partner is crucial 10:05
  • We put up barriers to receiving love 15:57
  • The two of you can do this together, expect it to work 17:43

It takes true commitment and dedication on the part of both partners for you to succeed. You have to erase all doubt about the outcome, and live and love each other every day . Show love, appreciation and kindness, and above all, communicate. You and your partner have to be able to put a voice to your needs and to be able to have conversations with each other about everything. Understanding each other is crucial to creating the relationship you both desire. The best way to erase doubt and to really know that you’re with your life partner is to work on the relationship every day. You may have had several soulmates in life while you were working on yourself and finding that one person who can be your partner for life!

The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: The Hold Me Tight Workshop - Presented by The Couples Expert. 2 Days and 7 Conversations that can change your life.

Learn more: http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/hold-me-tight/

Next Week: Join Stuart next week for an adult topic: The use of sex as a weapon. Do you or your partner ever use sex as leverage in the relationship? Tune in to The Couples Expert as he delves into this subject with you.

Email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Until next week, keep working, keep soul-searching and stay connected!



Direct download: 168-In_Love_and_In_Sync_-_What_is_a_Soulmate.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 1:48pm PDT
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Hello and welcome to episode 167 of The Couples Expert Podcast. We’re so happy you’ve joined us for one of my (and I hope your) favorite topics. Stuart is ready to tell you all about how to make your partner feel loved and important and so special in your life. The gift that keeps on giving is the gift of birthday sex!  

Stuart is examining being a therapist and dealing w/ individuals with mental health issues. Sometimes clients go off the deep end and it’s scary as a counselor.  In voicing that concern to his wife Stuart and she had a discussion about how he was reacting to the recent crimes in his area involving counselors and how they each saw this issue differently.

Nobody wants their feelings to be discounted by their partner, and you should never assume a meaning from your partner without clarifying their statements. You both need to feel that the other person understands your feelings, and is not discounting them.  You’re on the same side of the issue.  It’s so important that you each know how to share with your partner when you’re disconnected or feeling pulled apart how important they are to you and how much you love each other.

What you’ll learn in today’s podcast:

  • In order to make Birthday Sex special you have to have done the work on your relationship the other 364 days as well 5:34
  • Sharing your love and passion is electric and exciting when you’re celebrating each other 8:10
  • It’s about giving your partner something special and showing them how much you love them on their special day 10:00
  • The anticipation of the outcome will be half the fun. So tease and flirt!  12:34
  • Plan for what will please your partner the most and make them feel special 17:00
  • Make the environment conducive to a relaxed, playful and sexy time 18:40
  • Do something out of the ordinary to make it special 20:28

Set aside the stresses and things you’re working on or struggling with in your relationship. Take a break and have some fun. Set up the scenario that will make it meaningful and surprising to your partner and don’t fuss about the little things.

Don’t go to extremes that can create stress such as elaborate surprises or role playing if you’ve never done it. If you have a party, let your partner know that your sexy time will commence as soon as the party ends and you will be the special gift at the end of the evening. Flirt and tease your partner until they are ready to clear the room.  Be creative and have fun, but realize that it’s not simply sex. They need to know it’s all about them and that you love them so much that you want to give them this very special gift on their birthday.  The love that you share is the gift that keeps on giving.

Make them feel how important they are to you all year around.Thank you for joining us on The Couples Expert. Until next time, be surprising, and stay connected.

This podcast is sponsored by  Stuarts Daily Notes . Daily mentoring from The Couples Expert. Learn More: http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/

Next week on The Couples Expert Stuart will be discussing the concept of soulmates. Are you with your soulmate? Do you even think there is such a thing? Listen to the episode and find out.

Email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com . He loves to hear from his audience and would like to hear your comments or review of the podcast.

Direct download: 167-The_gift_that_keeps_on_giving_the_gift_of_Birthday_Sex.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 8:55am PDT
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Alex Swire-Clark is Stuart’s Guest on Episode 166 of The Couples Expert Podcast. Alex is a human behavioral and communications expert with a background in education. He’s got some insight to share on a model of human behavior that impacts relationships. Stuart brought him on the podcast to talk about communication issues between personalities in a marriage.

 

June means that wedding season is in full swing so this episode is rather timely in that the discussion is geared towards communication in marriage. Listen in as Stuart welcomes Alex to to the podcast and they delve into some of these very important topics.

 

What you’ll learn on today’s podcast:

 

Defining your role in the marriage/relationship is the challenge 5:30

 

Personality styles defined DISC 12:22

 

How personalities interact with others in relationships 16:20

 

How you complement each other even if you’re opposites 19:00

 

Communication between the styles both verbal and non-verbal 22:06

 

Being ignorant of each other’s personality styles can cause problems as we approach and communicate to connect emotionally with our partners. Digging deeper gives us a greater understanding of what we each need in our relationships to feel connected, loved and important to our partners and spouses. As Stuart says, knowledge is power, and these insights are so valuable in teaching us how to approach our partners and communicate in ways they can receive and understand fully our intentions and desires. This can only make your relationship better!

We are grateful to Alex Swire-Clark for taking the time out of his busy schedule to talk with The Couples Expert, and to you, our listeners for taking the time to listen.

 

You can learn more about what Alex does on his website, therapportadvantage.com where you can also purchase the personality test online.

Email Alex here regarding the DISC quiz.  contact@alexswire-clark.com

Use “The Couples Expert” in the subject line of your email and Alex will send you the guide to defining these personality types for free if you purchase the program from his website.

 

You can email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com for questions and comments about the podcast.  He loves hearing from the listening audience and responds to all emails.

 

Next Week: Giving your partner the gift of Birthday Sex. Stuart talks about the special ways we can make our partner feel loved and important. Give the gift that keeps on giving. Tune in next week to hear more.

 

The podcast is sponsored by: Before You Tie the Knot - 12 Essential Conversations to have before you get married. This 12 week online course will give insight and understanding on what it’s really like to be married and build a life with someone. Learn more about this great resource by clicking the link: https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/tie-knot-12-essential-conversations/


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