Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 173 of our show. Today Stuart talks about coping with separation issues in your relationship related to work. How do we keep a close and connected relationship with our partners when we don’t get to spend a lot of time together?  Listen as Stuart discusses this important topic.

There are so many fun holidays in July and Stuart wants you to celebrate them all! Aunt and Uncle’s Day, Bugs Bunny’s Birthday and National Chili Dog Day are all happening at the end of this month! What’s your favorite holiday in July?

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• Codependency is a healthy part of all love relationships
• The division of labor changes when you’re on your own
• It’s important that you talk about the issues around being apart
• Technology helps us stay connected
• Commit to connecting daily to stay close via email, text, Skype or Facebook
• Make your time together important and focus on your love
• Video chat is great for seeing body language and non-verbal cues
• You shouldn’t try to solve problems when you’re apart
• Make your meetings non-negotiable, don’t miss your good morning/goodnight messages

Make time and make memories when you’re together. Make your relationship important and have some loving date nights when you’re together. When you’re together make sure that you focus on the love you share, and not on the negative aspects of being frequently apart. It’s equally as hard on both of you and it’s a consequence of the choice you’ve both made to live this lifestyle for the time being.  Concentrate on connecting emotionally in a loving way when you are together and make it all about quality not quantity of the time you have together.

The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too!  http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/

Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2

Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Next week on The Couples Expert we’ll be re-broadcasting some of our more popular episodes. Stuart is taking a break from recording for the month of August. Stay tuned for The Couples Expert to return in September with fresh new content and more expert advice on love and relationships.

Hi and welcome to The Couples Expert.  This is episode 172 of our show. Today Stuart welcomes guest Allana Pratt to the podcast. Allana is an author and intimacy expert who specializes in helping people to open up and find a place of authenticity within themselves. Everyone has the desire to be heard, to be seen for who they are, and to have the ability to share their true selves with a partner. Listen as Stuart and Allana discuss this very important topic.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• Control your thoughts, control negativity 2:49
• Being comfortable within yourself so others can see you 5:50
• Working from the inside out requires no approval  8:34
• The difference between conditional and unconditional self-love 16:45
• How I accept my partner, when I’m not happy with them 18:56
• Awakening the sacred and sexy & the noble badass within 21:55
• Fear of abandonment, of love and lack of trust stay with us 30:19
• Don’t be afraid of the work, the benefits are well worth it 33:21

When you go back and act as your own best friend and relive past events with the right tools and embrace past events and learn the lessons needed, you can let go of pain and hurting and evolve past the pain into who you are and need to be, taking the lesson along with you.

Our great thanks to Allana Pratt for her time and insights. What a wonderful opportunity to hear from her today.  Allana Pratt can be contacted at www.allanapratt.com and through her podcast “Intimate Conversations”.

The Couples Expert is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes. Relationship mentoring from The Couples Expert. Learn More: http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/

Next Week’s podcast is all about how to cope with separation from your love and partner due to work commitments. How do you maintain a close connection when you’re apart? We hope you’ll listen in.

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. This is episode 171 of our show. Today Stuart is going to be discussing the impact of lies and deceit on your love relationship.

There’s nothing more uncertain than questioning whether you can count on what your partner is telling you is the truth. Can you believe what your partner is telling you? Is your partner really there for you? What kind of relationship do you have if your partner is lying?

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• Trust is the foundation of the relationship 2:38
• Omission is deception 4:07
• Lies mean that you don’t have a true partnership 7:29
• You should be sharing everything together 9:28
• Fear, shame or guilt is the basis for avoiding certain subjects 11:15
• White lies are still lies 15:53

It’s so important that you’re authentic with each other. There should never be a reason that you would deceive your partner in any way. Be yourself, say what’s real and you can be confident that your partner loves you no matter what. The foundation of basic trust is what’s needed in the relationship. We’re all flawed, we all make mistakes. You need to keep yourself open and talk to each other about everything. You shouldn’t need to hide anything from your partner, because the love you have is enough for you to work through anything that may come up.

Talk about everything with each other. No matter what happened in your past, you need to share with your partner. Even your difficult issues from past relationships need to be on the table so that you both know what to expect. Don’t leave things unspoken. An omission is a lie. Your partner needs to know they can count on you to tell the truth.

Sponsored by: The Couples Expert is sponsored by the 2 Days and 7 Conversations Hold Me Tight Weekend. Build communication and connection with your partner in this weekend workshop presented by Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. http://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/hold-me-tight/

Email Stuart at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com with your comments and suggestions on this and future podcasts. Stuart loves to hear from his listeners and will respond to you if you take the time to contact him.

Next Week: Join us next week on The Couples Expert when Stuart welcomes guest Alana Pratt. They’ll be discussing how to fall in love with yourself so that you can be a good partner for somebody else. It’s all about love on The Couples Expert. We hope you’ll listen in.

Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode number 170 of our show. This week, Stuart is joined by guest Mickie Zada, who runs the Surviving Abuse Network. Mickie left her abusive marriage 16 years ago after over 30 years of abuse. She helps women get out of abusive situations and begin to heal.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• We can live in denial of  abuse for a very long time 1:41

• There’s so much trauma that women in abuse hold onto 3:48

• It can all look perfect from the outside. It’s a facade 7:54

• Emotional abuse is dramatically worse than physical abuse 9:20

• Be open with your kids about the abusive behavior to educate them what is right and wrong 11:19

• Shame and guilt are a part of the cycle and why victims don’t talk about abuse in their lives 13:38

• Fear of walking away with nothing can keep women from fighting back 16:40

• Financial abuse - When the abuser is controlling access to the money is a big red flag 17:47

Men are also being abused, there’s so much shame that goes with that. This is not Mickie’s area of expertise, as she deals primarily with women. Perhaps that is a discussion for another time?

Write Stuart with your comments and questions to: podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Recovery is possible with a great deal of personal work and personal growth.

“If we don’t change, nothing changes” - Your outlook and perspective have to change so your choices can change. Resist going back to your abuser!

Free support, free information and education is available to learn how to make healthy choices in future relationships. Professionals can help us see who we are. We need the perspective of counselors and coaches to help us see beyond our own experiences.

Thank you so much to Mickie Zada for taking the time to share with our listeners and to all of you for spending part of your day with The Couples Expert.

Contact Mickie at www.survivingabusenetwork.com  

Next Week: Join Stuart next week on The Couples Expert for a discussion about truth and lies. The impact of deceit on your love relationship is huge. Listen in as Stuart discusses what it means to live in an authentic relationship with your partner.