Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast, with your host Stuart Fensterheim. This is episode 180 or our show. Today, Stuart talks about loving yourself despite betrayal in a relationship. Stuart will discuss 4 parts in today’s podcast:

1. How do we really define what betrayal looks like in a relationship?
2. What does the hurt look like, feel like, and what is the experience like?
3. What are the long-term consequences of that?
4. How do we recover from those hurts, and how do we move on?

Stuart just returned from a cruise to England, where he and his wife had a lovely holiday connecting and enjoying each other. He also spent some time thinking about this podcast, and specifically this episode.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur Greetings [0:16]
• How do we trust again? [2:30]
• Can we really see ourselves as valuable in a relationship [3:50]
• How do we really define betrayal? [5:50]
• Your partner’s perception of you [14:00]
• Your partner becomes the means with which we define our world [15:15]
• What does the hurt really look like? [18:05]
• Am I lovable?  (Emotionally focused therapy) [22:00]
• Separate yourself [25:00]
• Grieve for the lost relationship, without blame [27:00]
• Finding who you are [29:50]
• Healing from betrayal [33:40]

For many of us there are scars that we bring from our previous relationships. When we come from a significant relationship where there are betrayals, we have a difficult time trusting ourselves and our new partners. We have to find the silver lining. We have to choose happiness.

The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too!  https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/

Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2

Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

This is an Encore Presentation, this podcast originally aired in June of 2017. 

Welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with Stuart Fensterheim. We have an unusual topic this week; first responders and the importance keeping your connection strong. If you have a first responder in your family, are married to one or have a friend who is, take a listen to the podcast today. First responders are those brave individuals who run towards danger when everyone else is running away. It takes a special kind of grit and purpose to do that kind of work. It also takes a special kind of person to be in a relationship or be married to a first responder. It can be a chaotic, sometimes lonely kind of life. Stuart talks about some of the special challenges associated with being in a relationship with a first responder. Whether they be armed forces, reserve military, police, fire or other emergency services, these special individuals give a lot of themselves to the job. The partners, families and spouses of first responders are some of the most compassionate and flexible people in the world. Listen as Stuart discusses life with a first responder partner and how to keep your relationship close and connected.

What you'€™ll learn from today'€™s podcast:

• How religion can bridge the gap between cultures and the Jewish holiday of Shavuot at 0:57
• Some of the unique challenges for first responder partners at 4:29
• What'€™s needed to have a connected relationship with your first responder 7:35
• How high stress affects first responders at 9:07
• Why checking in is important at 11:43
• Small things that you can do to stay connected at 13:20 Flexibility is important at 15:20

Thank you to all the first responders out there and to the partners that love them! You help make the world a safer place for all of us.

The Couples Expert Podcast is sponsored by: Stuart’s Daily Notes: Subscribe and change your relationship in 5 minutes a day with a video sent to your email inbox. The response has been overwhelmingly positive. Stuart’s Daily Notes can help you too!  https://www.thecouplesexpertscottsdale.com/stuart-daily-notes/

Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-couples-expert/id951362894?mt=2

Email: Stuart would love to hear from you. If you have a comment, review, or suggestion for a topic Stuart can tackle in the future, please email him at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Hello and welcome to The Couples Expert Podcast with your host Stuart Fensterheim, The Couples Expert. This is episode 178 of our show. Thank you for joining us today as Stuart talks about something that we will all be facing at one time or another. You may already be there : the impact of retirement on your love relationship. How will you and your partner spend your retirement years?  Listen as Stuart talks about how to cope with this major change in your life and what you can expect while heading into this new phase of living together with your partner.

Stuart just returned from a cruise with his wife. There was some worry and anxiety about going to London after the recent terror attacks there. Deciding not to let the bad guys win, they decided to go and have a great time in spite of the worry. He’s renewed and refreshed and excited to be back bringing you the expert advice you’ve come to expect.

What you’ll learn from today’s podcast:

• What it’s like to be retired. Fantasy vs. Reality
• Stuart’s dreams of retirement
• Why couples divorce after 50
• How to stay connected into your golden years
• How retirement will change your life
• Keeping your good health is important
• Retirement lets you do what you want to do
• Make sure you’re connected now

Don’t wait until you retire to do the work on your relationship. It’s not about communication skills as much as making sure that your connection to one another is strong and healthy. Talk and plan together about your hopes and dreams for retirement.  Make sure you’re in agreement and on the same page about what you want to do with this important next chapter in life.

This is the time for you to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You’ve been working for this all these years, and now’s your chance to enjoy those golden years with your loving partner by your side.

You can email Stuart with your comments and suggestions at podcast@thecouplesexperts.com

Thank you for spending part of your day with The Couples Expert. Until next week. Stay connected!